found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize