I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
