I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
