If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
