im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
