I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
My balls are so social today.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
