no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize