All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
