He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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