What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
