at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I am available for nakedness
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
