No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
