...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We left the knife in your bed.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
