he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
