i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
