i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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