Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
