do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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