My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
