2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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