I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
