After last night, I could never be a politician.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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