I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
