every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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