So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
