I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize