did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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