Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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