Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize