You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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