She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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