She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
