youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
