Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
