yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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