you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
sarcasm needs its own font
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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