I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
