the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
