Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
