we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
