So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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