Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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