Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
