she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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