Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
