okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
