Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
