Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
