I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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