She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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