So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
