Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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