At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
