I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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