I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
