Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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