So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
