i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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