You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
