is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
