i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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