living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
