I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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