she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
